Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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