we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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