she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
