did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
