i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
