So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
