i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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