No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drunk is not a location!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
