Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
