I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
