do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
