Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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