glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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