yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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