every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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