My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
