I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
