i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
