Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
