ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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