I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
