Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
this is an emotional support booty call
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
