We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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