Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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