OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
