Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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