kristin has been a bad kristin
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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