You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
