Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
