You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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