you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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