Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
