This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
