okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
