Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
my liver is dry heaving
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
