You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
