What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
