I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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