Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
