so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
