Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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