Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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