Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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