sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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