The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
