College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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