i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
