It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
