next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
