did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
