I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
