I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
