Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
