At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
