It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
