Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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